


red rose: it’s ok if you forget me

by stuffesting



Category: Stray Kids (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, hyunin, seungin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-21
Updated: 2020-12-21
Packaged: 2021-03-09 20:20:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27722027
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/stuffesting/pseuds/stuffesting
Summary: "I love you,"He shut the door behind him, Leaving the younger speechless."I'm sorry,"
Relationships: Hwang Hyunjin & Yang Jeongin | I.N, Kim Seungmin & Yang Jeongin | I.N
Kudos: 9





	red rose: it’s ok if you forget me

Jeongin sat beside the older on the couch. He then took the hand and interwined their fingers. Jeongin stared at their holding hands for a while.

"I missed this," Jeongin said while laying his head on the older's shoulder. The older smiled. "I miss you too," answered the older. Jeongin giggled at Seungmin's response.

It has been 2 years since they lived together, they were basically the couple that everyone adore. They can't live without each other, they were each other's lives, without each other, they are incomplete. That was how they've been living their whole time together.

But, there is no such thing as perfect couple in the world we're living in. 

These day, Seungmin has been very busy with his work, he rarely came home to the younger. Jeongin asked him before multiple times about his work but he still answered that Jeongin won't understand about his work and gave out many more excuses. Jeongin didn't took that excuses hardly, he tried his best not to overthink things and just put trust on his boyfriend. He didn't want something bad to happen between them.

Seungmin then pulled the latter into a hug, a tight hug, something that Jeongin missed. Affection. 

Jeongin's fox eyes then stared into his boyfriend's eyes, making eye contacts with each other, how much he misses this, he thought to himself.

Jeongin then helped himself by sitting on the older's lap and wrapped his arm around the neck. "How can I miss someone this bad," he asked the older.

Seungmin smirked at the younger, he then bit his lips while exchanging looks with the younger. The younger stared at his lips, he then leaned in to get those beautiful plump lips. It absolutely wasn't a gentle kiss, it was full of tongues, pushing and pulling until they both lost their breath. 

Jeongin then pulled away feeling exhausted, panting like he had went jogging, his lips were all bitten and red. He leaned into the older to buried his face into the crook of the older's neck. 

Seungmin then hugged the younger back with love. Jeongin cherished this moment so much that he didn't want it to end. He then got up and pulled the older into their room.

Once they arrived at their room, Jeongin pushed the older onto the bed, he then crawled on top of him while having his hand all over the older's body, the older moaned at Jeongin's actions, asking him not to stop, Jeongin smirked the whole time. He knew about the older's weakness. 

After a while being teased, Seungmin held Jeongin's hand and pushed him aside, he put himself on top of Jeongin in a split of seconds. Jeongin was shocked at the older's sudden action, the older bit his lips while holding back both of Jeongin's hands.

"I wanna eat you so bad,"

"Then go for it," Jeongin smirked.

~

The sun shined brightly into their room but they're both still in a deep sleep while being tangled up with each other without having a single thread on them. After being shot by the sunlight, Jeongin then became the first one to be awake, he took his time to progress everything after waking up. 

Jeongin looked at his boyfriend who was laying beisde him, he then admired his boyfriend and thought to himself about how lucky he is to have such a beautiful, almost perfect boyfriend.

"What a beautiful weekend," he whispered to himself while smiling. He then got up and headed straight to the bathroom.

Seungmin woke up because of the noise in the kitchen, he walked his way to the kitchen while being half asleep only to see the latter was getting their breakfast ready, without thinking twice, he went to wrapped his arms around the younger's hips and rested his chin on Jeongin's shoulder. 

"Oh! you're awake," said the latter who was a little startled in the presence of Seungmin

Being all clingy the first thing in the morning wasn't what Jeongin expected the older to be.

"What are you making?,"

"Scramble eggs, and some sausages, sit down and let me serve it for you," Jeongin answered, Seungmin then pulled away and sat at the table that was placed in the middle of their kitchen.

"What a nice husband you are," Seungmin jokingly said the word husband, because he knew how much the younger love being called husband. The younger cheeks redden just by the word husband.

"Stoppp," Jeongin said while trying his best not to show any reactions.

"Aw I know how much you love me calling you husband,"

"Stop please mister," Jeongin giggled.

"Come here my cute little husband,"

Jeongin then went to the kitchen table and gave a peck to the older's lips.

"Okay now stop," he said while giggling then continued to cook in the kitchen. Seungmin also giggled at the younger's cute behavior.

Jeongin finished preparing everything on the table with the help of the older. They then sat on the table for breakfast. Seungmin took his first bite while the little chef waited for his reaction. "Now this is what we call food, damn how are you so good at cooking,"

Jeongin smiled until you can clearly see his teeth, how happy he was being praised by someone he love. 

"Let's go on a date today," Jeongin suggested while being in a good mood.

"I'm sorry babe, I'm kinda busy today there's some work I need to do at the office, maybe later?,"

More and more excuses. Jeongin sighed. "Oh, it's okay, I'll just watch netflix at home," he smiled, half-heartedly, then continued to eat, avoiding eye contacts with the older. 

Seungmin finally left for work, on Saturday. It had always been like this, Jeongin thought to himself. Being together is like a challenge now. He was getting a little tired with his boyfriend being like that. He wanted more time with him, to trust him. 

~

Jeongin went out alone to buy some books. He loves reading since when he was in middle school, reading is like the only thing that can keep his mind off things. Something relaxing that he clearly enjoyed.

Once Jeongin arrived at the book cafe, he went straight to the facts section, he looked for books about constellation since he wanted to explore more about that topic. After a while looking around, he finally found the book that he had been looking for,

"Hours with Constellation," he whispered to himself, then he smiled alone. 

"What's your favourite constellation?,"

That sudden question made Jeongin who was reading the description of the book a little startled, he turned to his left to look at the owner of the voice. "Sorry if that question startled you, I'm Hyunjin,"

"Oh no issokay, I'm Jeongin," Jeongin smiled while pulling out his hands to shake with the other.

"So?,"

"Oh yeah, my favorite constellation is vulpecula,"

"Oh! The fox!,"

"Oh! You know?," 

"Of course I do, that's also my favorite constellation," Hyunjin answered while showing his interest.

"So you're also into constellation? It's very rare to meet someone with the same interest," Jeongin asked in excitement.

"Of course I am!," they then continued talking about constellation for a whole ten minutes. Jeongin was so excited because he finally found someone that has the same interest as his.

"Are you busy right now? Like maybe we can go to the cafe or something to chat," Jeongin suggested to the older, the older then hummed for a while, thinking about the offer. "It's okay if you're busy!," he continued in nervousness.

"No, no i'm not busy at all, let's go then," 

The younger's face shined at the answer. They then proceeded to went the nearest Gong Cha cafe. 

The moment they arrived at the cafe, Jeongin received a call from Felix, Hyunjin quickly gave him space to answer the call, he then went outside to answered the call.

"Jeongin, where are you?,"

"Why?,"

"No, I thought I saw you with Seungmin here at his favorite restaurant,"

What? Favorite restaurant? Seungmin's? Him? What? Jeongin cant't seem to process any words from the call. He felt this weird heaviness in his chest, what is this feeling, he thought to himself. He then started shaking, overthinking every single things possible. Maybe everything that he once overthought was true after all? He cant seem to progress these kind of thoughts.

"Jeongin?," 

The younger didn't asnwer, suddenly the call ended. Felix at the end of the line was a little startled with Jeongin's reaction.

Jeongin who was shaky, a little scared started to walked away from the cafe and hopped into a taxi.

Hyunjin waited for a very long time, then he decided to came out from the cafe only to see that younger was no longer there. He felt weird, why would the younger left him without saying anything. He then proceeded to walked to the nearest bus station to go back home after being ditched.

~

Jeongin finally arrived at Seungmin's favorite restaurant. His head was filled with a lot of thoughts that he, himself can't handle. He walked to the door slowly, scared. What if something that he didn't want to happen, happen in front of his eyes. 

He wished for the best and entered the restaurant.

His heart felt this heaviness again.

His body started to get shaky.

His lost the shines in his eyes,

He can't even cry, or smile, or laugh or give any reaction at that moment. 

He turned back and went out from the restaurant.

~

Seungmin went back home after a long day, he realised that his boyfriend's shoes were not there- it's already 11, where is he. He then went to their room while pulling out his phone and dialed his boyfriend's number. 

No answer. He felt suspicious, his mind was filled with a lot of thoughts, he started to get worried, he dialed the number again, still no answer. Where the hell is he?

The sound of the door being open, Seungmin went to the living room, his boyfriend was back.

"Where the hell were you? And why won't you answer your damn phone?,"

No answer from the younger. The younger ignored everything and went straight to their room.

Seungmin followed the younger and pulled the younger wrist, forcing his boyfriend to turn to him. "Answer me!," he yelled,

Jeongin stared at the older, no expression on his face, he felt numb, everything was dark to him, it was so heavy, it was hard for him to accept everything.

Seungmin looked straight into the younger's eyes, he felt the differences in the younger's eyes, it was not like before. It was different, his eyes showed the emptiness inside him.

Jeongin pulled his hands away and walked straight into the bedroom and shut the door behind him, he locked it, not giving a chance for the older to enter the room.

The older knocked the door multiple times, begging for Jeongin to open the door, asking for Jeongin to talk, the older started to get worried.

After a while being ignored, Seungmin eventually gave up and slept on the couch for the night.

~

Jeongin stared at the stars through the room's window while laying on his bed, his mind was a mess the whole time, he can't sleep, he needed time to process everything that he saw earlier.

He can't control his thoughts, no medications can stop his thoughts, all he thought about was everything he's scared of.

The heaviness in his chest came back, he held his chest. Finally all the tears from before came out. It's been a while since he really let go.

He shut his eyes closed. Kinda felt like a dream to him, that he wished to wake from someday.

~

Seungmin woke up from his sleep, he heard noises from the kitchen again today, he went straight to the kitchen to see what's happening.

Jeongin was there, preparing their breakfast, again, he felt like Deja Vu, he then poked Jeongin on his shoulder. "Babe?," Seungmin called out for his boyfriend.

"Oh, you're awake? Sit down, let me prepare your breakfast for you," Jeongin answered when he heard the older called out for him from behind.

The older nodded and sat on the table, Jeongin then came to prepare the utensils for the older and sat in front of him.

"Eat up," Jeongin invited the older to eat.

The older who felt a little suspicious with Jeongin behavior, slowly started to eat.

"I'm sorry about yesterday, I was a little emotional," the latter started the conversation.

"Wanna talk about it?," the older asked in concern.

"No need, it was nothing," the latter smiled, half-heartedly. "You busy today?," the latter continued while shoving his food into his mouth, he then chewed the food slowly, being nervous about the older's bout to be answer.

"Yeah, I have to go to my office, my seniors asked me to come, they needed help with something,"

"On Sunday too?,"

The older nodded.

The younger freezed, his mind stopped working, the heaviness in his chest came back- not this again, please. He tried his best to kept his calm and started to chew again.

~

For these past few days, Jeongin started to felt this kind of distant with his boyfriend. His boyfriend's behavior started to get even more suspicious after he knew what his boyfriend had been up to.

He was just scared to speak up about it, he wasn't ready to let him go. He was still in love with him. He still cherishes their relationship so much that he didn't want to ruin it. He thought being good and played along with the current situation can help him to make a change in his boyfriend's heart. 

Even when it was unhealthy for him- he had to.

He kept it all to himself, the loneliness inside him, one day it will stop.

"Hi my baby Innie," 

He heard his boyfriend's voice, his boyfriend then hugged him from behind, he stayed still "I missed you so much Innie,"

That very soothing voice, brought this pain into the younger, the voice that he truly loved, but the younger quickly held his tears, not to ruin the moment, he wanted this. He wanted to fix everything.

Seungmin then turned the younger around to face him, the younger smiled- the smile with no meaning. 

The older leaned in into the younger's face. Their lips started to meet- this kind of feelings, he needed this.

The tears of the younger started to rolled down his cheeks when they were kissing- the affection, he missed this.

Did the kiss even had meaning to the older? Was it just full of lust with no love? Why would his boyfriend did that to him, he trusted him with his life.

Trusts were bound to be broken after all. 

~

Just like everyday, Jeongin closed the blinds and laid on the beds. Again, his head was full of thoughts.

Without him realising, these past few days, he started to lose the will to live, he just want to run away from this pain that he can't escape.

His phone buzzed on the bedside table, call from Felix. He answered the call, at the end of the call, he can clearly heard Felix and the others were having fun.

"Innie where are you? Come over to my house there's Chan and Changbin hyung here, we planned to go to the pub later, wanna join?,"

"What time are we going to the pub?"

"Around 8?,"

"Okay see you there," Jeongin answered then ended the call. Finally, going out, having fun with friends. 

~

The group friend chunked their glasses together, the vibes in the pub was kinda chilly because the pub's location was kind of hidden, customers rarely found the pub, except if they're regulars there.

Jeongin then swallowed the alcohol in one shot, he repeated his actions multiple times, making the olders with him feeling a little bit worried.

"Oh calm down little one, what's wrong?," Chan started the conversation when he saw the younger being aggresive to the alcohol.

"Nothing, just needed my mind off everything," 

"Why though? Are you not happy?,"

That question strucked through his head, happy? Am I happy? He didn't even know the meaning to happy, he wished he does. 

"Of course I am happy," Jeongin smiled then continued, "I have the perfect boyfriend, I have the perfect friends, I have the perfect family, I'm rich, I basically have everything right? Why wouldn't I be happy?," Jeongin then continued to took another shot of alcohol.

"I think you need to stop drinking," Felix said then pulled the alcohol away from Jeongin.

"Why?," Jeongin asked while attempted to take the bottle of soju in Felix's hand back. Felix insisted on giving him the alcohol.

"Innie," Seungmin called him out from behind.

The younger then turned around, "Oh! it's my perfect boyfriend, right here infront of me, I'm so happy," Jeongin said sarcastically making the older a little pissed off. 

"Let's go home, you're drunk "

"No, and I'm not drunk,"

Seungmin then took the younger's wrist and dragged him out from the pub.

"What's wrong with you?," 

"You ask me now? Are you serious?,"

"Okay, if it's my fault, i'm sorry, you don't have to drink like that," the older apologised.

"No, no it was never your fault, because you're the perfect boyfriend everyone could asked for right?," the younger answered sarcastically. again. 

"Then why are you acting like this?,"

That question really broke the younger's heart- how can he said that? did he really think i'm stupid? i'm not. i knew eveything, why am i going through this?

The younger stood still in front of Seungmin, he stared right into his boyfriend's eyes, he smiled, then a tear started to rolled down his cheeks.

"Innie, what's wrong?,"

The older took a step forward, the younger took a step backward.

"Innie?,"

"Don't come near me,"

"Why are you doing this to me? Why you made me lived like a fool? I trusted you with all my life, how could you do that to me?,"

"What do you mean?," Seungmin asked in nervousness.

"I saw you with Minho having lunch last Saturday, you don't have to lie to me anymore," 

The older's face went pale. He then avoided eye contacts with the younger and stared onto the floor

They went silent.

"I'm sorry," 

"So it is true?,"

"I'm sorry,"

"Why?"

"It's my fault, let's just take a break,"

"W..What..?"

"I'm tired, I'm sorry," the older said those words. Jeongin looked at the older- is this what you really want? The older walked away from Jeongin who was still standing there feeling like a dumb.

His worst nightmare came true, after all the pain, all the efforts, he was left behind by someone he truly loved. 

Wasn’t everything supposed to happen? As it was said or thought?

Only his heart knew how his heart aches, it hurts as much as he loved- can't we be in love? love is so selfish.

~

Jeongin arrived at their house only to see the older’s things in front of the door. His steps started to get heavy, he walked into the living room.

There sat the older on the couch, waiting for him to come back.

He walked over to the older.

"I'll be moving out," the older then walked passed the younger.

Seungmin took his things and reached out for the door knob, he opened the door, 

"I love you,"

Those last words, incase that would change his mind.

The older coldly shut the door behind him,

"I'm sorry, Innie,"

Jeongin fell on the floor. His breathing started to get unstable. His body started to get shaky. His mind was a total mess.

“Seungminnie..” In silence, no one answered, I can still hear your voice, tears, flow. 

If you heard me, if you saw me, won’t you come closer and be with me?

Yelling at the sky, screaming at the world, baby why'd you go away? I'm still right here. Holding on too tight, head up in the clouds- how do i love again?

In darkness, it’s getting hard to stand.

The older he got, the more that he sees, that loving is hard, it don't always work. You just try your best not to get hurt. Sometimes it's better to let someone go.

~

The little boy woke up from his sleep, he closed the blinds and started to play Streetlight by Spear B. 

He sat in front of the mirror, took out a pair of scissors and started to cut his own hair. The hair fell on the floor, the floor was filled with brownish hair of the little boy. 

Didn't even tried to talk, go out with friends, he just laid on his bed. Feeling this kind of emptiness that he can't explain.

I miss the smiles we had when we were young- that very beautiful smile.

I miss the memories of feeling love- that very comforting hugs, kisses.

I miss us sleeping underneath the sun- that very warm memories.

He felt like life was so much simpler then, he was young and innocent. When love wasn't always invasive, he could embrace it.

One notification for his mom, "Jeongin-ah, we're having family dinner tonight! Don't forget to come, bring your boyfriend together, if he's not busy, see you later son!"

He had no energy to go to the dinner, but at the same time he didn't want to break his mom's heart. He loves his mom so much, that at last made him went to his family dinner.

~

Jeongin got to the luxury restaurant wearing a suit and having a slicked-back hair- yes, he is from a rich family, his dad is a chairman and his brother is a doctor, he himself is a bout to be lawyer. The waitress showed him the way to that one particular VIP room. The moment they arrived, the waitress opened the door for him, in front of him there sat the three of his family members.

"Jeongin! My brother!," the older called out for Jeongin who just arrived, Jeongin entered the room and hugged his brother. "I missed you," the younger said.

"I missed you too," Jisung replied. That words from his brother really made him happy, how much he misses this. They then sat on the dinner table.

The family talked for a while until their food arrived. They started to eat their food and that was when until his mom asked him, "Where is Seungmin?,"

Jeongin stopped eating, he looked at his mother while smiling half heartedly, trying to get away from this situation. His brother realised about the younger's behavior and quickly answered the mom's question, "He's probably busy right Jeongin?,"

The younger looked at his brother, a little startled about the older's answer then he quickly nodded, showing that he agreed with the older's statement. 

"What a waste, next time bring him together," his mother answered. Once again Jeongin nodded, they then changed their topics and started to eat their food again.

After having their dinner, Jisung offered Jeongin to drive him back home. Jeongin accepted the offer.

The whole time in the car, they were having only a small talk, talking about how their life have been with studies, works and everything else. Until Jisung decided to break the ice.

"So, what about Seungmin?,"

"Seungminnie...?," Jeongin laid back to his back when he heard the name. He started to looked at the sky, that weren't so bright that night.

"Seungminnie... We decided to part ways," Jeongin then smiled after saying that. He didn't know how to react anymore, his feelings got mixed up to the point that he couldn't understand them. Was he sad? or dissapointed? or was still expecting something? 

"Jeongin-ah, life is not always easy, when it gets hard, you get a little stronger, when i gets dark, you get a little brighter and wiser. Life always teach you something new, is it bad or good, you will never know until you understand it," 

"Yes, i know i'm the one who is falling the deep end, having trouble sleeping, no I will never really know how it feels, even if I think I do, till it happens to me, but you know i'm saying this as your big brother,"

"Sometimes, you just gotta get out from this life, and you know push the reset button?," Jisung said while poking Jeongin chest, the younger looked at him while smiling, his eyes were full of crystals because of his brother's wise words. 

~

Jeongin entered the library, looking for a new book. It has been two months now since he last saw Seungmin, and during that period of time he has been doing a lots of stress relieving activity like, he went fishing, went to a party, went to ride bungee jumping and many more. 

When Jeongin arrived at the facts section, he started to remembered that he once met a guys named Hyunjin there, he then looked around the area searching for him, hoping that he could meet the guy, again. 

"Looking for someone?," asked the tall guy behind him, Jeongin got startled by the voice and started to loose balance, he wavered his hands trying his very best to balance his body until that tall guy quickly wrapped his arms around his hips.

They locked eyes for a moment, they time stopped for them.

"You alright?," asked the tall guy, when Jeongin finally processed about the situation he quickly find his way out from the guy's arms. 

"Yeah I'm alright, ha-ha," Jeongin aughed nervously, "You're Hyunjin right, we met here before, talking about constellations.

Hyunjin chuckled, "Yeah that's right, and you left me at the cafe alone remember?,"

Jeongin cupped his mouth with his own hands, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry about that, something urgent came up at that time, I'm so sorry,"

"Nah, It's no big deal," Hyunjin answered while giggling at the younger's reaction.

"Really? But still, I'm so sorry,"

"You're that sorry?,"

Jeongin nodded.

"Then treat me to a meal!," Hyunjin said while smiling big.

Jeongin looked at him while smiling, "Deal!,"

~

They met again the next day, Jeongin promised to treat him to food, he asked Hyunjin what does he wanted to eat and Hyunjin answered he wanted to eat chocolate cake out of the blue.

"I'm treating you and cake was what you chose?,"

Hyunjin chuckled, "Yes, I'm craving for chocolate cake actually, I wanted something sweets,"

Jeongin shook his head, he then laughed, "then, chocolate cake it is," when they arrived at the counter, Jeongin ordered a whole chocolate cake for Hyunjin, they then waited for the cake at one of the cafe's table.

"Want to eat here or go somewhere else?," Jeongin asked the older. The older thought for a while.

"Let's go to Han River, a little picnic maybe?,"

"Han River? Suddenly? Okay..." Jeongin answered, to him Hyunjin was such a random guy, he often just randomly suggested something out of the box, Jeongin found it a little bit cool actually. How Hyunjin's mind work. 

After gotten the cake, they then walked their way to Han River, it took them about 20 minutes to arrived at the picnic spot. They sat on the floor while appreciating the view in front of them.

Jeongin then took out the cake and handed over the cake knife to Hyujin, the latter asked him to cut the cake, Hyunjin then took it and started to slice the cake.

Hyunjin's eyes got teary. 

Jeongin went speechless. He then just keep his mouth shut and let Hyunjin had his own times by not bothering him. 

"You're not gonna ask me anything," Hyunjin started the conversation.

Jeongin didn't even look at him, yet he smiled while looking at the view. He then shook his head. "Everyone has their hard times, take your time,"

Hyunjin took the younger's wrist and pulled him into a hug.

Jeongin held his breathe, his heartbeat increased, his eyes widened, he was clearly flustered by Hyunjin's sudden behavior, he tried to pulled away "hyung?,"

Hyunjin pulled him again, not letting him go from his hug, "let's stay like this for a while," Hyunjin hugged him even tighter, "please,"

Jeongin smiled, he started to pat Hyunjin's back.

"It's okay, everything will get better, believe me,"

"It's okay to cry,"

"I'm here for you,"

Hyunjin started to cry even harder.

It had already been a few minutes since Hyunjin cried, none speak up or try to make conversation , Jeongin was scared to break the silence, he was scared that he might make the wrong steps to approach Hyunjin. 

It was total silent between them, it was only the sounds of the river, cars and birds.

"I'm sorry that was sudden," Finally Hyujin broke the silent. "I didn't mean to make things awkward between us, it just happened,"

Jeongin closed his eyes, getting ready for his next steps, "I might not be in the position to ask you this, but anything you want to share with me?," he finally said it.

Silent. No answer.

The latter started to get anxious by that, "You don't have to you know..." Jeongin continued.

"It's my birthday today,"

Jeongin looked at Hyunjin in shocked. "It's your birthday and you're here with me? Is it okay?," he started to get worried, maybe it was a bad idea to brought him out today.

"No one's there for me anyways,"

"I'm sorry...,"

"Don't be sorry for something that is not your fault," Hyunjin turned to look at the younger. He smiled, "thank you for today, it really made me happy,"

Jeongin smiled, you can clearly see his teeth, he was smiling big, he didn't expect that kind of words can make him happy.

Hyunjin chuckled at the younger's reaction, such a happy pill. Hyunjin then put the cake's frosting on his hand and put it on the younger's nose. The younger laughed and yelled jokingly at him. They then laughed together and started to eat the cake.

"Thank you for today." Hyunjin whispered to himself while looking at the sky.

"What did you say?," the younger asked.

"Nothing," they giggled while looking at each other.

A lot of smiles were made that day.

Jeongin was finally truly happy after a while, he loved this feelings. The feelings of him being happy.

~

Jeongin sighed while laying on the couch, another boring weekend he guessed. He got up and turned on his laptop to start working on his assignments.

One video caught his eyes.

He clicked on it.

"Innieee-ah come here," Seungmin said while holding the camera, Jeongin then laid beside Seungmin. 

"What is this for," Jeongin asked while trying his best to cover Seungmin's camera while giggling. 

"This is for me when i miss you later,"

"Really? Then here's my face," Jeongin finally put his hands away from the camera.

"My baby Minnie, what are you doing missing me? Come here and hug me right now won't you,"

Seungmin chuckled at younger's behavior. "Now let me hug you for real," 

Jeongin let out a fainted yell.

The video ended. 

The next video was played.

"Minnie come hereeee!," Jeongin yelled while waving his hand at the camera.

"Wait for me!," Seungmin ran to him, "why did you left me behind like that," he said while pouting.

"My baby, i'm sorry okay, I was just too excited," they both laughed.

"Wahhhh, my baby really does look like the sea, so beautiful," 

Seungmin turned the camera to show Jeongin in front of the sea.

Jeongin was smiling big. 

The video ended.

His eyes started to filled with crystals. 

"I miss you, I really do,"

A tear rolled down his cheeks.

If those times were like fairy tale, he was only filled with the fear of being left behind. The story remained so cold, it was still clear to him,

the way he slammed the door,

the way he left with those words.

Jeongin's phone rang, his ringtone brought him back to reality.

Call from Hyunjin.

Jeongin smiled, he quickly wiped his tears and cleared his throats, then he answered the call.

"Jeongin want to hang out?," Hyunjin was the first one to ask a question.

"Now? I don't think I can," Jeongin pouted while staring at his assignments, "I have a lot of assignments to do, due Monday,"

"Oh really, then do you want me to come over?,"

"Really? Can you come?,"

"For sure, want anything?,"

"Chicken and pizza please!"

"Okay text me your address," Hyunjin then ended the call.

Jeongin excitedly unlocked his phone to text his address to Hyunjin, finally a friend that can accompany him doing his assignments, he smiled.

Too focused working on the assignments, he got startled by his own door bell, he quickly got up from his chair and opened the door for Hyunjin, who just arrived. "Chicken and pizza have arrived," Hyunjin said while showing the bag full of foods to Jeongin. Jeongin let out a laugh.

They say in the living room, enjoying the food brought by Hyunjin. "Thank you fro accompanying me today," Jeongin said while munching the pizza.

"No problem," Hyunjin replied.

Hyunjin looked around the living room, amazed at how the 20 years old kid could managed such a beautiful house on his own. Until one frame of picture caught his eyes, he squinted his eyes to look closely, "who is that?,"

"Mhm?," Jeongin answered with his mouth full of pizza, he then turned around to look at the photo pointed by Hyunjin. 

A photo of Seungmin and Jisung that he hadn't get rid off yet. 

"Oh... that..."

Hyunjin arched his eyebrows at the younger's reaction, "Are you okay?,"

"Yeah, that's just my brother.... and.. my ex boyfriend..." Jeongin answered while looking at the food, avoiding eye contacts with the older. 

"Oh really?... Where is he now?,"

"He probably got back with his ex, maybe?,"

"Oh shit, no you don't have to tell me if you're uncomfortable," Hyunjin started to got anxious. 

"No, no it's okay, sometimes you gotta learn how to let go right?," Jeongin answered while munching his food, with a real slow pace. Hyunjin stayed quite. 

"Remember the time I left you at that coffee place?," 

Hyunjin only nodded, signaling the younger to continue without having to worry about him, he was ready to listen to his story.

"I went to looked for him,"

"I went to his favorite's restaurant,"

"Only to saw him, with his ex, having dinner together,"

"I tried to fix things, I brushed it off at first, bur then things got worse,"

"I can't accept it anymore,"

"I let it all out,"

"Then..,"

Jeongin let out a deep breath.

"He broke up with me,"

"I said those words one more time, in case that would change his mind,"

"He closed the door behind him,"

"We parted ways,"

"It all happened so fast that I didn't know what do,"

Jeongin's voice started to get shaky, he didn't like this feelings, the feelings of heaviness in his chest.

Hyunjin got up and sat beside the younger, he wrapped his arms around the younger's shoulder and let the younger leaned his head on him.

"I'm sorry,"

Jeongin shook his head.

"It's okay, you can cry now,"

Jeongin pulled away while sniffing. “I’m okay now, thank you,” 

“You sure?,” 

Jeongin nodded. He then smiled.

Hyunjin love this feelings, having to take care of someone. 

Jeongin stared into Hyunjin’s eyes. Their eyes locked for a while. 

Hyunjin changed his gazed onto the younger’s lips. He wanted to taste the lips so bad. The curiosity about how the lips taste like, is it sweet? sour? or maybe taste like a Red Rose.

Until the moment when Hyunjin couldn’t held back anymore. He slowly leaned into the younger’s face.

The younger shut his eyes closed. Embracing for the next thing that about to happen.

Silent. 

He could felt the fainted breath in front of him, very close, yet so far.

He opened his eyes. He could clearly see the older halted right in front of his face, with his eyes closed. Their lips were just a few inches away from each other.

Jeongin closed his eyes again, he then went for it.

Their lips touched.

A Red Rose.

Hyunjin opened his eyes in shocked. A Red Rose. He finally found the taste of the Red Rose. The taste where he had been looking for so long.

Hyunjin kissed the younger back, it wasn’t just any ordinary kiss. It was different this time. 

Jeongin pulled back feeling very exhausted. He then looked into Hyunjin’s eyes, it was full of stars. 

Hyunjin wrapped his arm around the younger’s hip, he pulled the younger closer and then went for another kiss.

This time, much more softer and everything just like how Hyunjin imagined. He felt loved, he felt protected. He realised it now, it was because of Jeongin was beside him.

Hyunjin broke the kiss first, their forehead touched each other, eyes glued on both lips, catching up for oxygen.

“Will you date me Hwang Hyunjin?,”

Time stopped for the older, his heartbeat became faster than ever, the words that he had been waiting for, finally.

Hyunjin smiled, “I’ve been waiting for you to ask me that.” 

Hyunjin then snuggled closer to the younger then pulled him into a hug, mumbled a soft yes into his ears, making the younger hugged him even tighter.

~ 

“Let’s spend the whole weekend together!,” Jeongin shouted excitedly, he then turned to his face towards the older beside him. The older nodded while chuckling at Jeongin’s behaviour.

“Where do you wanna go?,” 

“Picnic!,” the younger suggested.

“Picnic? Seriously?,” 

The younger nodded while smiling, “let’s recreate our first unofficial date, but make it official,” 

Hyunjin then laughed at the younger’s idea, “okay let’s do it,”

“...but let’s cuddle first,” Hyunjin then quickly grabbed the younger’s hand and pulled him onto their bed. 

“Yah!,” Jeongin yelled jokingly. He then fixed his position to be even more comfortable in the older’s arms.

Hyunjin then played with Jeongin’s hair, he softly went through the hair, playing with it with a lots of love. 

Jeongin then took the older’s hand and started to play with his hand. Trailing his finger on the veins of the older’s arm. “Sexy,” he whispered to himself.

“What did you say Innie?,”

Jeongin looked up to his boyfriend, “nothing..”

“Are you sure?,”

“Yes baby, nothing,” but the younger obviously can’t kept his cool, he accidentally let out a small chuckle.

“Yea for sure, cause I heard you said ‘sexy’ earlier,”

Jeongin quickly turned his whole body to face the older, “and then what about it?,”

They looked into each other eyes, Hyunjin then cupped Jeongin’s face and pulled it towards him, the lips crashed. Not just a soft, simple crash, it was full of tounges crashing into each other, they both were obviously enjoying the moment.

Jeongin ran his hands inside Hyunjin’s shirt, multitasking, he started to felt every single thing under the shirt, the older let out a fainted moan.

Hyunjin held the latter’s hand stopping him from moving his hand, he pulled out from the kiss and started to explore Jeongin’s neck- his most sensitive part. His eyes then rolled because of the pleasure from him.

The older smirked, “You like that?,”

“Of course I do,” the younger smirked back at him.

~~

They both were fully naked in their bed, tangled up onto each other when Hyunjin was playing with the younger’s hair, again.

“Thank you,” Hyunjin started the conversation.

“For what baby?,”

“For being there with me when i needed someone,”

“Oh don’t say that,” the younger cheeks began to redden from the sudden confession.

“No really, thank you,”

“Mhm, okay now stop,”

They chuckled playfully, but then it was complete silent.

Hyunjin let out a fainted sigh.

“Innie...,”

“Hmm,”

“I love you.”

The younger shut his eyes tight, hugging the older tighter, burying his face into the crook of the older’s neck.

It was silent.

No answer.

“I’m sorry,” he thought to himself. The thought that he couldn’t let it out.

~~

Jeongin focused on his phone waiting for his boyfriend to deal with things at the reception.

“Innie, I’m done let’s go baby,” 

Jeongin looked up to his boyfriend while putting up a smile on his face, “Done?,”

The older nodded and then showed Jeongin the way to their chalet.

Jeongin was very excited when he entered their chalet, they got the one that was placed right infront of the beach. Jeongin then laid on the bed, followed by his boyfriend. 

Hyunjin then snuck into the younger’s arm, that made them automatically cuddled with each other. 

“Wanna rest for a while or go to the beach?,” Hyunjin asked.

“Mhmmm, rest for what, let’s got to the beach,”

“Okay set, let’s get ready then,” Hyunjin released himself from Jeongin’s hug and went to get ready.

They both then headed to the beach together while having their fingers intertwined. 

The place with a lot of memories. Happy memories. He wished. He looked back to that time. 

He stood still. His body freezed. His eyes followed the flow of the waves.

“Innie!! Come here baby,” a big smile was created.

He ran towards the man in front of him. He hugged him tight, very tight. Like he was scared to let go of him.

“Don’t leave me,” he then looked at the man’s face.

Hyunjin quickly cupped his face, “What are you talking about baby?,”

A tear started to flow. 

Jeongin came back to his senses. That man wasn’t him, it was Hyunjin all the time. He was wrong.

“Omg I’m sorry, I ruined our moments didn’t I? I’m sorry,” Jeongin quickly apologised after accidentally crying in front of his boyfriend.

Hyunjin arched his eyebrow, “you okay?,”

“Yeah I’m okay, just a little tired,” Jeongin was obviously flustered by the question. 

“You can go to rest if you want, I’ll stay here at the beach, is it okay?,” Hyunjin suggested, the younger then nodded and headed to their chalet alone.

When Jeongin arrived, he threw himself on the bed, it was silent.

A tear rolled down his cheeks, “Hyung, why does it hurt?,” 

“It’s been a while,”

Jeongin then curled himself, crying, alone. 

~~

Jeongin woke up from his sleep because of the buzz from his phone. “I went to our chalet and saw you in a deep sleep, so l don’t wanna bother you, come out to the beach for dinner later,” he then locked his phone after reading the text message from his boyfriend. He was lucky to have such a perfect boyfriend, that truly loves him, but he himself? He wasn’t sure about his feelings, he liked being with Hyunjin, he liked the affection of the older, 

but was it only lust and not love? 

Jeongin changed his outfit into a proper clothes, sprayed a little perfume on him, fixed his hair a little and then quickly went out to the beach, a little bit scared if he’s late to the dinner.

The path that led to their table was full of Red Roses, he walked through it slowly, amazed at the older’s efforts.

At the end of the table, Hyunjin was there, waited for him with his arms opened. Jeongin then quickly ran to the plder opened arms and hugged him, “Omg baby what is this,”

“For you and our 6 months anniversary,” Hyunjin then led the younger to his seat, like s gentleman he was, he then sat himself infront of the younger.

The table was filled with candles and Red Roses, the waitress then came and placed a few plates of dishes on the table. The couple ate the dishes together while having the conversation of their life.

Hyunjin was so happy, the smiles that were created that night was uncountable, until it was complete silent.

“Innie,”

“Mhmm,” Jeongin answered while chewing the food in his mouth.

Hyunjin then held the younger’s hand that was on the table, he smiled, “hear me out okay,”

Jeongin nodded while still focusing on his food.

“I know you’re still in love with him.”

The younger’s action stopped, eyes still focused on his plate, scared to look at the person in front of him.

“It’s okay,”

“But little do you know Innie?,”

“That you were the only one who can make smiles,”

“You were the one who made me understood the word, happiness,”

“But it hurts me to see you like this,”

“All the time you were crying alone,”

“All the time you were missing him,”

“I felt like I was the reason you’re like this,”

“And I hate that kind of feeling, the feeling of guilty, it was slowly killing me,” 

Hyunjin pulled his hand away from the younger, the intertwined fingers were finally broken. 

“Let’s stop your pain okay?,” his voice cracked, but he tried his back to hold it back.

“I love you,”

Still, it was complete silent from the other, no answer. 

Hyunjin then forcefully smiled and got up from his seat, he knew that this is the best for both of them. He couldn’t take it anymore, he wanted the younger to be happy.

“He’s here,” Hyunjin continued. 

Jeongin looked up, only to see Seungmin from afar, was he dreaming? Was he really here? He then looked back to Hyunjin, the feeling of guilt started to crawled into his whole body, he then pulled Hyunjin into a hug.

“I’m sorry, I really am sorry,” Jeongin let out a fainted crying voice, apologising to the older.

Hyunjin hugged him back tighter, “It’s okay, work things out okay?,” 

“Thank you for everything hyung,”

Hyunjin pulled away from the hug, tears started to flow, but still, he was still able to smile throughout the whole time, “I’ll go now okay Innie?,” he then wiped the tears on Jeongin’s face, “always be happy.”

Hyunjin then stepped away from Jeongin.

Jeongin looked at the older’s figure walking away from him, he then changes his look to the one beside him, it was really Seungmin, he was really there. 

“I miss you.”

~~

Hyunjin sat on the park’s bench, two weeks and he waited till the feelings hit, maybe he just haven’t let it sink in.

Six months of living together, held him like he’d hold him forever.

Didn’t think the heartbreak would feel like this.

From everything to nothing at all, from every day to never at all 

And everyone says that he should be sad, is it normal that,

he didn’t feel sorry for himself,

he didn’t care if his hands touch somebody else,

wouldn’t get jealous if he’s happy,

it’s okay if he forgets him.

he doesn’t feel empty now that he’s gone, does that mean it didn’t mean at all?

but the worst is,

it’s the way, it doesn’t hurt when he wished it did.


End file.
